Barely Alive
by rogue-angel07
Summary: Shelby's sad story, many years after graduating from Horizon. A one chapter fic.


a/n: Italics means it is a flashback. This story quickly shifts from the present to the past many times. Sorry if this confuses anyone.

**Barely Alive**

Shelby's blue eyes fluttered open to the sound of the shower running. Her fiancé was always up with the first traces of sunlight. He would wake up, go to the gym, then come back home and take a shower before leaving for work.

Shelby lazily sat up and started to rub the sleep out of her eyes. She heard the bathroom door open and her fiancé walked in. "Hey sweetheart," he said as he gave her a light kiss, "and how's my little guy doing?" His head of short blonde hair moved to rest on Shelby's swollen belly.

"He didn't kick very much last night," she replied as she rubbed her stomach lovingly.

He smiled at her, a smile that showed Shelby how excited he was to have his perfect family. Shelby forced a smile on her face as she pushed back tears. He didn't know that the only smile he ever saw on her was fake. He gave her a kiss, then kissed her stomach before going into the kitchen.

"What do you want for breakfast?" he yelled to her, "I can make you anything you want before I have to leave. The case isn't going so well."

Back in the bedroom, Shelby was looking down at her stomach with a mother's love in her eyes and a saddened smile on her face. Her hands were moving back and forth, rubbing her unborn child. She didn't care about his words, but somehow found a way to pay attention to them. "Oh, really?" she replied to him. He didn't hear the grief in her voice.

"Yeah, well actually the prosecutor is kicking my ass," he was busy trying not to burn the pancakes he was trying to flip. "I can't say that I actually mind. I really can't stand my client. Can you believe that she is seventeen and likes being a prostitute?"

Shelby lowered her head in shame. She didn't say anything, so her fiancé continued his one-sided conversation. "I know it goes against everything I'm supposed to think as a lawyer, but I believe people like that need to be locked up. Maybe it could teach them some things about what they're doing with their screwed up lives."

Shelby continued looking down when she heard him walk into the room. He had stabbed her with his comments, but she felt embarrassed and ashamed instead of angry. "Here sweetheart," he handed her a plate of pancakes. Her stomach was already churning, so she looked at it with horror.

"I'm not hungry," she said, glancing at him with a sweet look on her face. He smiled at her before putting the plate on the night-stand beside the bed.

"Then save it for when you are. My little guy is probably going to get hungry soon." Shelby nodded her understanding and watched him while he walked to his closet to pick out the perfect suit to wear. He always did this right before he gave her a kiss and left for the day.

The man she was set to marry was a nice guy. He had a sweet personality and tried his best to please everyone around him. But when he needed to be, he was strong and focused. Shelby had seen him defend people in court with such a strong determination that the prosecutor barely had the chance to argue a case.

The only flaw he had was that he was incredibly naive. Shelby knew she was lucky to find such a loving fiancé that adored her in addition to having more then enough money to provide for a family. The naivety of his mind made it easy for Shelby to make him believe that she was in love with him.

"You know sweetheart," his voice interrupted her thoughts, "now that we both know it's a boy, we really have to think of a name."

Looking back to her stomach, she replied, "I always knew he was a boy."

She saw his large form emerging from the closet, his hands were busy adjusting his shirt, "Yes you were right from the beginning. But you had the advantage with the maternal instinct and all." He laughed at his joke, not noticing that Shelby wasn't very amused.

"I always knew what his name was too," Shelby was looking at her baby and seemed to be talking more to herself then her fiancé, "Scott," she stated.

"Scott?" he questioned.

"Yes, that's his name," she answered. Her voice was quiet but certain.

With his hands trying to untangle his collection of ties, his dark hazel eyes looked towards his beautiful fiancé. He never doubted that she was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. He didn't have many girlfriends before Shelby came along. The happiest moment in his life was when she told him that she was pregnant. That was the moment he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He asked her to marry him the next day, and nearly had a heart attack when she accepted. Being with Shelby made him feel like he had found true happiness.

His eyes fell back to her as he attempted to straighten his tie. She was looking at her stomach with a kind of love in her eyes that he had never seen before. There was no doubt in his mind that Shelby would be a great mother.

"Scott," he tossed the name around quizzically, knowing that it wasn't up for debate. "I like that."

Shelby was lost in thought until the feeling of his lips on her's pulled her back to reality. "I've got to go," he stated as he walked to the door, "I love you."

"You too," Shelby answered before he left. A few moments later the drone of a car engine could be heard pulling out of the driveway. Almost immediately, tears started to spill over her eyes as she clutched her belly. She would never tell him the words "I love you." She had made that promise to herself. She had made that promise to Scott. It was impossible for her to love anyone the way she loved Scott. The words "I love you" were only for him.

Leaning back against the wooden headboard of the bed, Shelby began to break down. Her entire body was shaking with her desperate cries. Not being able to hold them in anymore, she unleashed her sobs. Streams of tears were running down her face. Her loud cries would have been heard if anyone was in the house with her. But she knew there was no one to hear her. She was alone, left with the memories that would always haunt her life.

In the beginning she had tried to fight them off, but later she realized that they were unbeatable. Every day she would have to live through the gut-wrenching heartache and unimaginable despair of what it felt like to lose him.

Her memories flooded into her head, and she no longer had the will to fight them. Instead, she laid on her bed sobbing while she relived the past.

Scott's voice came to her. The same voice that told her how much he loved her, how he would always be there for her. It was the voice that put a smile on her face first thing in the morning. The voice that had healed her. It was the same voice that she was now starving to hear.

But in her memories, it was an angry voice. A voice that she dreaded hearing.

"_Fine," it screamed in anger, "if you don't love me anymore, then there's the door! LEAVE!" _

Shelby's cries were racking her whole body. This was always the first thing that she remembered. In the past she tried, to no avail, to remember how the fight started. Her memory kept forcing her to that angry yell.

"_Fine! If you don't want me here I'll leave!" With that Shelby stormed out of the door in an angry rage. Scott had completely infuriated her, and she was tired of it. She wanted to get him back. To make him as mad as he made her. With every step she took, her anger grew. It threatened to boil over when she heard his voice once more._

"_Shelby!" She was now standing at the corner of the street in the middle of the night, but she could hear him clearly from behind her. "Shelby! Shel come on it's late. We can finish fighting in the morning like always."_

_Just that second, a car pulled up in front of her. A man was smiling at her from the driver's seat. 'Not this time Scott,' she thought silently. She wanted to make him mad, to scare him. She lingered in front of the car before getting in. Scott's voice yelled in confusion, "SHELBY!What the hell are you doing!"_

"Scott!" she cried out his name, craving his presence. Unintentionally, her hand reached to grab the pillow beside her. She clutched it to her, but it provided neither the support nor comfort she was starved of. The pillow only muffled her heart wrenching cries.

"_Shelby! Stop!" Shelby knew Scott better then anyone. In his voice that night there was no anger like she imagined, only fear. She knew the moment the rusty old car pulled in front of her that she wasn't going to do anything with this man. Her only intention was to get back at Scott. She could see him run towards the car. The look on his face made her body sting with guilt. _

_She looked at the man beside her. His stare instantly made her feel uncomfortable. "Sorry guy, you're going to have to find a different whore tonight." Shelby went to open the door just as Scott ran up to the car. Her hand pulled on the handle, the door didn't budge. She pulled it again, nothing. In a panic, she pulled at it over and over. With fear in her face she looked to the man sitting next to her. His leathery face wore a sickening smile that made Shelby's heartbeat quicken. "What the-," she started to yell but was cut off by his hand squeezing her throat. _

"_HEY!" Scott punched the window on the driver's side. It shattered instantly, but didn't break. "GET OFF OF HER!" _

_The man let out a laugh that made goose bumps rise up on the back of Shelby's neck. "SCOTT!" she screamed as the car sped up the road. _

Shelby buried her face in the pillow. She was sobbing so hard that it was becoming difficult to breathe. "I'M SO SORRY!" she screamed to the empty room. She shook her head before burying it back in the pillow, which was already soggy with tears.

The vague pictures of what happened after the car pulled away started to play out in Shelby's mind. With them, every feeling that Shelby had at the time started to reemerge within her. She could once again feel the kind of fear that made your brain stop thinking, the kind of love that made her want to close her eyes until Scott was there to comfort her.

Shelby remembered trying to fight the man while he dragged her into a motel room. She fought him as hard as she could, but the edge of the sidewalk surprised her and she lost her footing. With a shaking hand, Shelby unintentionally touched her blonde hair in the same spot the man had grabbed and used to throw her to the floor of the room with a violent swing of his arm.

"_GET OFF ME!"_ _her voice sounded less shaky then she would have thought. It didn't seem to matter how much she fought. The pressure of the man's body on top of her own made Shelby squeeze her eyes shut. 'Please be over soon,' she silently begged. Scott's face came to her mind and silent tears started to fall. 'Why didn't I listen to you?' Suddenly, a new fear struck her. What if she never got to see him again? This man wouldn't actually kill her would he?_

_The new fear gave her strength. Before Scott, Shelby had never know what it was like to love someone. He was the first person that had ever loved her. She was not going to let this man take that away from her. Putting her hands on his chest she started to struggle against him. Her eyes were still closed and the only thought in her head was being wrapped in Scott's arms, with her cheek against his chest, calmly listening to his heartbeat while he softly kissed the top of her head._

"_Shelby!"_

_She could hear his voice in her head._

"_Shelby!"_

_No. It was too real. Her eyes flung open as she cried out in desperate hope. "Scott!"_

_Moments later Scott's powerful fist came down on the man's face with crushing power. With a now unleashed anger, Scott struck the man pinned beneath him again and again. Shelby sat up and watched in shock. Scott's face was glazed over in anger. He picked the man up by his shirt and slammed his back into the wall. The man's face was now covered in blood. Adrenaline was quickly pumping through Scott's body. While Shelby sat on the floor in a state of shock and fear. All she wanted was to be near Scott. _

"_SCOTT!" she called out to him, not knowing why. She was afraid that he was going to get hurt. All she wanted was for them to be safe._

_When Scott heard her terrified cry his heart skipped a beat. Shelby, **his**_ _Shelby, was afraid and hurt. His immediate reaction was to run to her and comfort her. Scott quickly snapped his head in her direction._

_While Scott's attention was on Shelby, the man peered through the blood running into his eyes and noticed the two staring at each other. He took advantage of the lack of attention. Soundlessly, he reached into the folds of his jacket. His hand felt the sleek, cold metal while a crazed smile appeared on his battered face. _

_Scott turned his attention back on the man. An uneasiness came over him when he saw the sinister look on the man's face. But he didn't have the time to react to it._

_With the sound of the gun shot, Shelby became over taken by pure terror. Her heart stopped, the blood froze in her veins, hoping that she could stay in that one moment of uncertainty. The moment where she didn't know where the bullet went._

_Time seemed to slow down. Scott dropped to his knees in front of the man. "NOO!" Shelby's scream held nothing but pain and fear. She caught him before his back hit the ground. Holding him, her eyes started to overflow with unknown tears at the sight of the growing red stain on his shirt. _

_Tearing her eyes away from the sight of her fear, she brought her hand to his cheek. "Scott, you're going to be okay," her voice then started to break before she broke out into heaving sobs, "I'M SO SORRY!" Streams of tears were flowing down her cheeks, her sobbing made it difficult to breathe. _

_Scott slowly lifted his hand to her cheek. Shelby's cries immediately quieted. Her breathing quickened and her heart pounded as she stared at Scott's face. It was paler then she had ever seen it and it was growing cold under her touch. He opened his mouth to speak but seconds passed before he gathered the strength to say the words. _

"_Shel..," his voice was frail and quiet but clear and sure, "..you're the best thing that ever happened to me," he paused taking a breath as Shelby hung on his every word and movement, unknowingly holding back her pain. He took another shaky breath before he continued, "I love you, so much that it could kill me." The corner of his lips turned up into a half smile. He moved his thumb to clear away some of Shelby's tears. It was useless, more tears started to fall silently from Shelby's eyes. She pulled him tighter to her while she stared at him, his face was only inches from her's. "Scott," her small voice was quivering, "I love you with everything I am." She hugged him close while she watched a small smile cross his face._

_With a breath taking blow to Shelby's gut, Scott's hand fell from her face. Alarm crossed her features, her breathing stopped as she saw Scott's eyes slowly close and his breaths faded away. Shelby sat in shock, staring down at the lifeless body she held. A realization leaked inside of her that caused her heart to twist in a crippling pain. "NOO!" she yelled, hugging him, crying for him, screaming for him._

Shelby sat on the bed crying with the same amount of pain she had that night. She could feel it all over again. Losing him, losing herself, it was the kind of pain that took over your body, and made it ache from deep within.

She didn't know how long she sat on the motel floor, clutching Scott while she cried. She didn't know how the police had found her. She didn't know how the man had gotten away, never to be caught.

But she remembered the looks on the cop's faces when they saw the two. A mixture of his blood and her tears covered them both. She could hear her screams as they tore Scott, her world, away from her. She tried to fight against them, not knowing why. She remembered when they walked her out of the room. The sun blinded her tear swollen eyes. She had stopped crying, only to fall to the hard concrete sidewalk and start vomiting.

Clutching the grey sheets of the bed, Shelby let herself cry, hoping it would force some of the pain to leak out. When she started to calm down she put the pillow aside exposing her unborn child. Her hands gently moved over her son.

A different kind of tear came to her eye. A tear that contained a secret that only she knew. When her baby was born she would tell him "I love you." He would be the living proof of the love her and Scott had once shared. She would tell him about his real father. Besides her memories, her son was the only link to Scott.

Shelby looked up from her child. The sight of the room sent her reeling into her present reality. Her thoughts shifted to her fiancé. She would marry him and let him raise a child that would never be his. Shelby, as well as her and Scott's child, needed him.

When she lost Scott, she was left with nothing. She wondered why the man that killed Scott didn't take her body as well as her soul. But everything changed when she found out that Scott had left her with a child. She had nothing, but she knew she had to find a way to support a child. Even if she found the strength to return to her old ways of life, prostituting with a big pregnant belly would not get her anywhere.

So when faced with a terrifying reality, Shelby did what she had always done.

Shelby had found a way to survive.


End file.
